why the hell are toilets so loud?!! like i’m half asleep and then i flush and it’s like a fucking mariachi band just started playing in my house at 3 am
*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin
people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch the fuck out
People always say that it hurts at night
and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am
is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken.
it’s 9am on a tuesday morning
and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up
And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss him so much
you don’t know what to do with your hands.
me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know
bruh porn titles be so extra and so outta line like u got shit like “HORNY TIGHT ASIAN TEEN GAGS ON MONSTER COCK” like relax why u so loud & specific.